Would you rather be loved or admired?

The other day I was asked "would you rather be love or admired? I thought about it for a minute... But i didnt even need that much time.... I already knew my answer... Id rather be loved.. hands down... Admiration is fine, but i dont think its that important.. And I think most people would agree with me. They want to be loved. Like i said, admiration is fine, but it wont keep you warm at night... (Unless you are a total narcissist)..Not only that, admiration can come and go...In the words of Drake..Love.. When its real, it doesnt fade..

There is a method to her madness

Drake is indeed my favorite artist hands down... But Lady Gaga has to be the artist that i admire the most. She's a genius to say the least. She's been studying fame and she is the "guinea pig". In addition to being on tour for most of the past 3 years, when she's in New York, she teaches at NYU.. Eventually im going to post some stuff from her studies... Should be pretty interesting.

Losing your life doesnt scare you.. Wasting it does.. You are a REFORMER

Moment 4 life..

" ‘now’ is always the time to design and build your dreams.
that’s what makes the journey so sweet."

Right now is such an exciting time. Really, ‘now’ is the only time there ever is. Everything else is a construct, but ‘now’ will never cease to be. I’m moving confidently in the direction of my dreams. I’ve had some nudges along the way, but recently there’s been this sense of urgency. I can’t wait to make my dreams real. To manifest a greater version of myself. To live the life I want.

The point of power is always in the present. It’s in the now. Appreciate the journey by appreciating the present. The highs, lows, challenges, gains and losses are all a part of the bigger picture. To change your future, change your ‘now’. Do something differently. Move in the direction you want to be. This life is a process. There is no destination, only direction.

I’m working,writing and growing, being totally absorbed by the power, possibility, and responsibility of this moment, which is all about becoming the best version of myself possible. I’m on Cloud 9. One of the best highs I have been on for a long time.

Evil Prevails..

Many say that "evil prevails when good men fail to act"... But what they should have said was.. "Evil prevails"

The night before a friend of mine went back to new York,I was at her house and during a conversation, I said that i thought people were born evil... she immediately reminded me that I once said that I thought people were born good. Why the sudden change?

Growing up, nobody teaches a child to lie, but somehow we all have done it! We are born with the ability to lie and you have to be taught to do good. For example, we have to be taught to share.

In short, evil will always prevail. No matter how much good people do, they still cant make up for the evil. Some people arent taught to be good so they jsut sink back into their evil ways. The fact of the matter is, there are more evil people in the world than good. Good people are just simply out-numbered. And there is nothing you can do about it.

One more chance

I always say.. "A man gets one chance to make a mistake, and one opportunity to make it right"... What if you were given one opportunity to go back and do something differently. I guess you could say, "one redo"... Where would you go? How much of your life would you have to redo to make up for what you did?

Now dont get me wrong,I dont regret the things ive done, or didnt do. But i just always wonder, how my life looks in this alternative universe. Its always in the back of my mind.

You Know?

Mid-Night conversation

Yesterday i was beat. After working on my portfolio for my internship i just passed out in my chair, then hopped on my bed for some rest. Maybe a couple hours later i got a text, asking me what i was doing and asked if i wanted to come out. I was about to send her off until she sent another text mentioning Scarlett.That changed my whole perspective, i decide to get up, get dressed, and go out....

After convincing everyone that they did not want to go to that party. We ended up at a friends house, just sitting around chilling. But then.... Everyone decided to go to sleep.. except Scarlett and I. It was about 2 o clock in the morning and we were just lying there on the couch together talking about everything. School, life, future, the past... Just like old times

Actually we spent alot of time talking about the past. We talked about the summer, we talked about bullshitting, we talked about what she thought "my type" was.In the midst of it all, I looked down at her and she had this really puzzled look on her face. Like she was in really deep thought.. So i asked "whats wrong?"... She first said nothing, but after some persuasion she finally started talking... She asked.. "why didnt you ever say anything?" Say anything about what?.. "You always said that you had a huge crush on me throughout 7th and 8th grade. Why didnt you ever say anything? She kind of caught me off guard. Wasnt expecting that at all. And honestly, i didnt have an answer for her. I really dont know why......But Somehow i got her to change the subject, and we just kept talking.. As I was dozing off..she whispered in my ear and said "Don't forget me".. And with the utmost sincerity , i looked her in the eyes and said "I won't"...And. before i knew it, it was 6 o clcok, and i was rushing to go meet my mother. So many things were discussed, i cant even put them all on here.

Its nights like this that ill always remember.. With the people that ill never forget.

One of the Greatest gifts of life....

In a recent conversation, i was talking to a friend,and the subject of relatoinships, and love came up. And i said..

"One of the greatest gifts of life is Love, and having those feelings reciprocated..."

It was one of those times when i said something, and i really had to stop and think. In the past id write it down in my sidekick or in my iphone. But since i now have neither. Ill share it here.

What you doin?... Bullshitting

Its true... People change.. Some people change.. others never change, and they just get worse. I was a supreme bullshitter. Its how i lived. I manipulated people, I learned everything i could about you, then attacked... I knew exactly where to hit to hurt people the most. I took advantage of people.

But when i grew up. (funny how i actually grew up over the span of a couple months,lol)It took years to corrupt me, but only a couple months for me to grow out of my bad habits. And im so glad that i did.

You see, when i grew up i realized that manipulation and snaking was not necessary to get the things you want out of people, or out of life as a whole. I realized that you can get everything you want, by being kind and sincere.

I learned that a bullshitter is only bullshitting himself in the end. I wanted to be a flawless bullshitter. I didnt want to be a lying bullshitter. My method was not to lie, but to instead... Manipulate the truth. But I discovered that you cant be a bullshitter without telling some lies along the way. In addition to lying to the people around me. I was lying to myself. The worst part about it all, is that i was believing the lies I told. I believed that i was doing some good. I believed that i was getting ahead somehow. But in reality, i was digging a hole, i was reversing everything my mentors ever taught me. And i brought others down with me. 2 people i most regret pulling in my holes were Bridgette and...(yes) Jade.

Ive apologized to Bridgette more times that i can count, but someone i have yet to apologize to with sincerity is Jade. She deserved the truth. Both of us did. But She didnt deserve it the way it was served. It was cruel.

Another thing i realized after I stopped bullshitting myself. was that I am now really at peace. Ive always been at peace (so I thought) Calm cool and collected. But it was a false peace. Just like the false stories i was telling these girls. But once i stopped lying to myself, i am finally at peace and can move to immeasurable heights.

Truth is, over the past couple years i havent done much of anything business wise. I mean, i still trade, and I have pretty good returns from that. But after Little Miracle i tried starting 3 businesses that have ultimately been flops. But since ive grown up even the business side of me has been on the up and up. Starting with New World over the summer. Now with Bean Jordan. Finance has always been my passion so when i stopped bullshitting myself with these wacky ideas that i knew couldnt/wouldnt work i was able to do what i really wanted to do. Im indeed grateful for all that has happened. And even more grateful that that i now see clearly.

Last but not least, I realized that i one day.. someone will see right through the lies and the bullshit. one day someone will look through it all, right into your soul... Then what?

Once a bullshitter.. Not always a bullshitter...

One day, someone will see right through you.. then what?

I was having a conversation this past weekend about the 48 Laws of Power. I mentioned that another friend of mine said that the 48 laws was a book about how to get ahead by snaking people. I agreed but still claimed it was a great book. BUt the person i was talking to disagreed. He justified the snaking by say it was "sharing". He claimed that the book taught you to "take on what others cant handle"
When he said that i thought about what my friend told me when i tried justifying the contents of the book. She said "sounds like a snake defending his bible". Indeed.. exactly what it was...I think that it take the realization of the lowest person you know, to realize that someone else has been false accused.

Back to the basics.... Lessons Learned.. Success Framework

1. Plan for Success

2. Take Calculated Risk

3. Recognize Opportunities

4. Overcome Obstacles

1. Hope is not strategy. Hoping for success. And having faith in your abilities is not merely enough. Its great and all. But you need a plan. Faith without works is dead.

2.To get in a position to achieve big goals. you must take calculated risk

3. Recognize opportunities! I can never stress this enough. I think some of the biggest mistakes ive made in my life were times when i didnt recognize opportunities and take advantage of them.

4. Embrace and overcome obstacles. Obstacles are almost as important as the plan. they make you stronger, wiser, and more capable.

Youre one of the good guys

"Youre one of the good guys".. Something I hear often nowadays. They have one conversation with me and then say "youre such a good guy".. No im not faking, this is really me.. But you sure dont want to know the guy i use to be. And what it took for me to get to where I am today. So heres the story on that...
Well back int he day, i was lets say... a dog. A low down dog at that. Which caused me to hurt the only girl i ever loved.

So one day i woke up, and said "im going to stop all this madness, and im going to be the guy that she deserves".. So that lasted a week. The she went into this box.and the week after that. we ended uo breaking up.The fact of the matter was, i changed too late. I dont think she ever got to witness this new me. It seemed like ever since we broke up, instead of me being the new me, i was just tryign to cover up all the stuff i did while we were together.

Its crazy, how a person can go from being a liar, someone who "told them what they wanted to hear", to... Living it.. and standing behind my word. I try not to lie anymore. Although i had to lie to cover up the lies that i told her previously. even though I did lie alot it was some things that i couldnt fake. I could fake the enjoyment, i could fake the pleasure. But i couldn't fake the fact that i loved her.

She never got to experience the new me. From january 2010 to the day I die. But thats ok. Everyone else has. They love it. And im proud of who I am today.

"you dont smoke, you dont drink, you try not to lie, damn who are you!"

-The "who are you" girl that i mentioned in a earlier post.

She then followed up by saying, "any smart girl would be lucky as hell to get you", I cant say that I dont agree with you. How about that date you keep talking about. Tomorrow? My place?

Let me go ahead and text you now, because I know youre probably not going to read this.

I feel like taking over the world...

You need some good friends in your corner. My friends motivate to do amazing things. Do things that i couldn't do. Or wouldn't have tried to do otherwise.Im sitting in my apartment talking to my roommates and a few friends. This girl was like "i feel like eating".. then someone else said "i feel like shopping" then somebody else said.. "i feel like having sex" then it got to me and i paused... and said simply...

"I feel like taking over the world"

Wheres the good?!

People are so negative. Often times when recalling past events or past relationships or something like that, they always look at the bad parts like How much time that person didnt spend with them. Am i the only one that looks at the good first. Why can twe look at how much time that person DID spend with you, or how often they DID say they loved you. Look at the good times, dont forget the bad times, but dont let that be your focus. Focus ont he times you smiled, or laughed, or felt good about yourself.

Why complain...

I personally hate people that complain... its so irritating, they are always talking about what they dont have, or what they "need", or what can be done for their life to be better. What about the stuff that you DO have, appreciate those things. Some people can only dream of having the things that you have. IE a roof over your head, a car, a JOB. You can breathe without a machine. For the most part you are healthy! You can walk! There are countless people who cant say that they can do these things. And the crazy thing is.. often times, people complain, then they dont do anything about it!

You want to move, start looking, take a trip to the bank, to check out some loan options. Want a new car. do the same thing. Dont like your job? Go look for a new one, revise your resume... TAKE ACTION!!

Quote of the day...

"People will always tell you that they'll be there forever.
Then they'll leave as soon as they remember forever is too long."

A direct quote from my friend since kindergarten Greg Burton, AKA Dre Valentine...

When i read this.. i had to like it, tweet it, then make it the quote of the day. Its so true...
How many times have you been told.. "ill never leave you" I got your back for life, I wouldnt snake you.. then they fade away, leave you hanging, or snake you... For many people, the answer to this will be often. Probably more often than it should be.. Why do people make promises that they cant keep or say things that they dont mean.

Now i am quilty of making empty promises. But luckily, i dont do that anymore, if i say "i promise" nowadays, then my word is gold, and it is guaranteed. And ive never said that ill be thre for someone that i didnt plan on being there for. I dont want the responsibility. But when i have gone out on a limb and said "i got you" or "ill be there forever" then i mean it, and i dont say it to many, i got you, is a phrase that i use very loosely, but it is still pretty gold. but ill be there... ive only said that to 2 people, one person who just needed someone. and the other was my first love. Honestly, i dont know where her head is... But lets not speak on that...She is... hmmm.... Anywho... I meant it both times i said it, and they can take that to the bank, no matter what, im here for you all. I mean, im not here, but im here for you. B, you are a great person, under that whole little mask you wear for everyone. Jade... lately ive just been shaking my head when i think of you.. But its cool.

Moral of the story, dont make commitments you cant keep. Forever IS a long time, and a persons life is very valuable. Keep that in mind the next time.

Quote of the day

I dont have everything, but I want for nothing.
-David Borom


An original quote by David Borom. It came about when again.. in the car talking. A bit after the conversation about my career as a therapist. She said.. do you ever get angry? Do you ever get loud?.. These are two questions that i get ALL the time. And the answer to that will be..Yes i get angry, no i do not get loud. What is raising your voice going to do but irritate others and cause yourself pain. And why get angry about things you have no control over... ya know...Let go and just.... chiiillll.

Time to go, but ill finish this up later.. I have so much i want to talk about tonight!

But its far from over.....

I know way too many people here right now that I didn’t know last year
who the f-ck are y’all
I swear it feels like the last few nights we’ve been everywhere and back
but I just can’t remember it all
what am I doing, what am I doing
oh yeah thats right, I’m doing me, I’m doing me
I’m living life right now man
and this what I’m do til its over
til it’s over, it’s far from over

Over the past month, this has been my life... (hey looky there, another Drake song that speaks my life, Never fails)... But its like, i've met so many people, and so many offers to do so many things, and i ve been given so many opportunities. And like i was telling Kevin and Tarik.. "I need you guys back in chicago ASAP, i cant do it alone". And honestly, I know that Tarik wants many of the things that i want, and Kevin.. im just not going to let that dude fall behind. But i mean, im not going to slow it down, but im not going to let it overcome me. I was born ready for this.. Lets go

"Be careful of what you ask for, because you just might get it"

Just a little tip for the future...

Yeah.... We're a process..

I am a process. You are a process. We are a process. Each of us is perpetually ‘becoming’. There is no "natural" end. What doesn’t grow is dead.

Perfection is illusory, yet I strive to manifest it in the most possible way by simply being better. Sometimes, I fail. Sometimes, I succeed. Some lessons take a while to truly get and some changes take longer to implement than desired. Everything in its course as everything happens in its own time. Knowing that, however, shouldn’t negate exercising effort.
I’m not who I was and at some point, I won’t be who I am now. The term “growing pains” is appropriate for so many phases in life, if not the sum of it. Growth–change–can hurt. Does hurt.

You are a process, always becoming who you will be. People will try to confine you to who you were or who they’d like you to be, but “I” is beyond definition because ”I” is not static. You are transforming regularly. You change your ideas, modify your behavior, set different goals and declare new resolutions. Who you have been and who you are now is not who you will be. Evolve. You are a process. So is everybody else.

Living, Learning lessons.Remember that.