I recently changed my facebook status to a quote from a Drake song that says "Everybody talks, and everybody listens, but somehow the truth always comes up missing?... Its crazy how real this guy is and you cant help but listen to his songs over and over again. Thats why so far gone was my favorite album of the year... And it wasnt even a real album!
But.... Break up to make up... HaHa, jokes on me this time!! I cant help but laugh and move.... So the girl that ive been writing about for the past year is no longer my girlfriend. The harsh reality we must face. Although it wasnt always like this.. Actually, we broke up on some great terms. Friends.. Laughing, hanging out, playing the game(i won this time)..We said that we would be best friends, and tell each other everything, lol...This little friendship went on for roughly 2.5 days theeeennnn.....
Everybody start watching, everybody start talking, and she just sat there and listened... as always.... And the truth came up missing. So story is.. that not even a full week after me and this girl broke up from a 15 month relationship, im supposedly talking to this other girl. I tried to tell her it wasn't like that, as always.. But of course, it was my word against everyone elses..They always won. But thats neither here nor there. Yeah, im with this girl alot I guess. Actually, its a funny story how it all started, turns out, we have always taken the same route everywhere, i just never paid attention to it, until she pointed it out. Ok, so now im walking to a couple classes with her, im seen with her, and not too long after.. You know how high school is.. Word travels fast, and the story seems to change with every person who is told. So from me walking down the hall with her, now it gets to her that im talking to the girl? What? Am i now? Well thanks for the new info on my life.. I guess
Usually we talk everyday, we laugh we joke.. But as the week went on... I noticed that we were talking less and less. So i talked to her about it. of course she denied it, but i think ive got it figured out. She is kicking me out of her life for good. It looks like she wants to exchange as little words with me as possible. She says she wants to be friends, but her actions say, "get the hell out of my life, i regret teh day i met you, but thanks for the life lesson". Its crazy. I understand that she had to get over me at some point because we were no longer together. And i understand that she had to let go a bit. But all im seeing is the dominos falling starting with a little rumor about me and a girl. Yep, the girl ive been in love with for 5 years..(5 years into eternity?) Is kicking me out of her life. Funny thing is.. a week ago we were talking about what would happen if one of us just cut the other off... Last week it was a joke, LOL, today its reality... It was like in the notebook!!! When they were younger they would always argue,and gith, but not too long after they wold be laughing and joking again.. Thats how we were, i guess time never really healed all her internal wounds, but on the surface eventually she was alright. and we'd be laughing and talking again. But this is not a movie.... Before.. We'd break up, not talk for a while, see each other and fall in love all over again. That was then....
At one point, i could look into her eyes and see a hidden smile, a hurt little girl, and love that would last forever. But now when i look into her eyes. i just see hurt, despite, hatred..All that staring back at me... For the first time in my life, i can't when this game. There are no cheat codes, there is no restart button, no rematch, there is no way i can delete the memory and start over. Its done. I lose, game over. Im going to have to put the controller down, let it go, last time?? Maybe illl glance at the videos we made over the past year, lol. Too bad they were only of us during intimate moments. Unfortunately i dont have any of her smiling, laughing, staring back at me with those little eyes filed with love and hope. Thats what i think ill miss the most..
You always told me that i say one thing and do another. And my actions speak louder than my words. Well you say that you want to be friends, but your actions tell me otherwise. So today, Ill let it go. The helium filled balloon is leaving my hand. gone with the wind. Ill stop texting, ill stop asking you to do stuff(although i still want that peanut butter and jelly sandwich i was promised). I think ill just bring my own cologne, and pray that mine is stronger than the marijuana that fills my locker.....You're going to have to wait for that though, i need to air it out first, lol.
Farewell my love. "i love you" for how long? "forever and ever and ever and ever and ever." lol. Yeah... So i guess we're here..... Forever has come and the love that you had for me has faded away.....
If you ever need me though, im here, you have my number. Dont be afraid to call, text, see if im still alive.
Enjoy life, don't look back.
No comments:
Post a Comment