Where to now??

At one point in my life, I always knew what to do, i always knew what to say.. I had an answer for everything... But now i sit here with nothing, I dont know what to say, i dont know what to say, and i have no answer for anything....


When looking forward at what my life would be like, i could see a nice house, car, wife, 3 beautiful children.. I saw graduation, prom, college.. But never once did i see this. I never thought "What if", what if I woke up one morning and it was all over. What if she left. What if she was gone. What if.... She never laid her head on mine again, or rubbed my head, or... Anything. What if it all was over....

I remember one day I sat in her basement and held her as she cried in my arms and I said. Ill be there, Ill always be here when you need me, Just call, and I'll be there... But i never once thought.. "what if she never calls"....

I was cleaning my room today,and came accross a few blueprints and a few chapters from my book. I looked at the blueprints and immediately thought about that time when we laid on my bed and discussed what you wanted in the house.. You wanted a dance studio, with glass windows... lol, For your daughter, so she could do what you didnt.. Dance... Im stil going to somehow incorporate a dance studio in the house, once i figure out how to put a glass room in a brick house,lol. Thats why im not an architect.

I accidently pressed play on one of the videos we made.... Boy was that a bad idea... lol. Ill just go ahead and consider that the last time ill ever see you like that. ...

Hmmm. So what now? WHat if she moves on? (too late!)..Ill figure it out. Eventually, Ill have an answer, eventually, ill kow what to say, eventually, ill know what to do... Until then...




Photo by: Nuru Photography